I’m the worst sinner I know. It’s true – I don’t know of anybody who is a greater sinner than I. Paul called himself “the chief of sinners” – I feel the same way. I know of nobody whose heart is as dark as my own. I know of nobody whose thoughts are as bereft of anything that is holy as are my thoughts. I can’t number a single person whose eyes betray God’s commands more than mine. Only I know the innermost recesses of my heart, the depravity of my mind, or the covetousness of my eyes.

Too often, we’re tempted to call out the good things we’ve done or the bad things we haven’t done to mark ourselves in some way as measuring up to some assumed standard. We use our relative measuring rod to see if we’re as bad as that guy down the block who beats his wife. Surely not. We look at just how angry other people can get or how bad their visible sin is that we are tempted to feel more satisfied that we would never do that. Even if we recognize in our mind that we aren’t good, we still feel like we aren’t really bad.

Well, it’s a lie, isn’t it? We are, by very nature, children of wrath according to Scripture. If we call upon the name of Christ, it is true that we are redeemed and we are given a new nature… but Scripture is obvious in the fact that our old nature never truly dies on this side of glory. We are constantly at war with it – Scripture calls this old nature “the flesh.” It’s metaphorical in that it is the part of us that is human and tied to the sin of our father Adam. Our new nature is spirit and tied to our spiritual father (those of us called by His name) Jesus.

What I must remind myself is that I am naturally inclined to do the opposite of what God would have me do. My natural inclination is to protect myself or what I hold dear. My sin nature, unchecked, would kill me. Thankfully, we have the Spirit to help us in this – He reminds us of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection; He reminds us that we are new creations and have been brought from death to life; He reminds us that we are not alone and this war is not waged in vain. God is fully involved and is presently helping us through every battle – even the ones we lose – to draw us nearer to Him and to conform us more and more into the image of His son.

I’m the worst sinner I know… but God chose me anyway. I can think of no one more vile than I… but Christ died a tortuous and grizzly death so that I could know Him. I know no person with more shame regarding the thoughts and intents of his heart… but the Spirit still presses me further and, incredibly, works through my hands to bring love, light, and healing to others.

How can I help but worship Him?