I’ve had a few questions from close friends after the last post about what I’m going to do next to right my lazy and procrastinating tendencies (well, nobody said it quite that way). In truth, I haven’t the foggiest idea where to begin… or even how to begin. I’m 42 years old and I’ve tried to right this ship using multiple methods. I’ve tried multiple self-help attempts as well as trying multiple Christian “rest in God” ideas (which tend to be nothing more than self-help wrapped up in Christianese… but I won’t go there).

So, what am I going to do next? While introspection is a good thing, at the end of the day I must rest in one foundational truth: I am not my own. The truth is that I have been redeemed and, through that redemption, I have been graced with the Holy Spirit. The Bible promises that “He who began a good work will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Phil 1:6) Does this mean I can just sit back and hope God will just fix me? Nope. I must continue to fight the tendencies within me that keep me from moving forward. I must continue to read and struggle and hope and persist… and fail… often. But in my 42 years, I’ve noticed that even failures are a grace. We see our own finiteness and desperation. My finiteness reminds me that I have an end, but God does not. This leads to my desperation for His lasting presence in my daily struggle. The beauty? He never leaves me nor forsakes me… all I must do is stop for a moment and even when I scream, “WHERE ARE YOU!!?” In time I see… He never left. I love Him for that. Psalm 8:3-9 (ESV)